The question I hate most at weddings

In true #TBT fashion, we’ll be throwing it back to long-lost stories. The ones in which we did put pen to paper (in a 2017 kind of way), but for whatever reason remained tucked away in the unpublished folder.

The Year of Weddings: circa February 15th, 2016.

Why we didn’t publish: No good reason at all. That’s the truth.

Aside from 2015 marking the year I turned 30, it was also the year of weddings. Six to be exact, and with every joyous celebration of love there was an accompanying bridal shower in advance of that date. So realistically, that was about 12 events, 12 outfits, 12 gifts, and likely far more than a dozen times I had to hear the line, “So, when are you getting married?”

Why do people find the need to ask this question? Why can’t we just be happy being surrounded by hundreds of people you don’t know coming together to celebrate the bride and groom? And yet all secretly wondering if any of these marriages will end in divorce. Yes, I said it. I said it because getting divorced is basically one click away these days. It would be naive not to wonder if any of these couples will actually make it to their 50th wedding anniversary, riddled with health problems, perhaps senile and yet still faithful and very much in love. If I’m the only one who thinks that, well marching to the beat of my own drum has never bothered me.

With all there is to preoccupy yourself with at weddings (like hours of uninterrupted people watching, just saying), I don’t understand how, “So, when are you getting married?” always seems to bubble to the surface. My rebuttal, “I don’t know, I don’t plan on proposing to myself.” Sassy, maybe a little, but frankly deserved, if you ask me.

These six weddings were the ones I was excited for; the ones in which I actually knew the bride and groom personally (versus weddings I attended because my parents were the invited guests). From my only brother to my fellow partner-in-crime, Rosy. And it never failed, that dreaded question always found a place on the lips of someone I wanted to punch for asking.

Help me understand: Do people ask because they love to attend weddings? Is it because being surrounded by so much food and twinkling lights that you just can’t wait to pencil in the next event? Or is it because people are down-right nosy?

In my opinion, at least for women, you can tell whether or not she’s planning her future wedding. Actually, it’s pretty simple — her left ring finger is either naked or is daintily bearing a diamond on a band.

So why are we asking? I have yet to figure it out. While my sassy answer often triggers a smile out of the ‘interviewer,’ the conversation usually ends there…unless someone dares to respond to my comment with the not-so-witty line of, “Well you never know, women can propose to men these days.” Clever. Like universal suffrage just happened and we’re all still surprised at the things women can accomplish if they just set their pretty little minds to it.

So let’s put all the curious minds at ease, here’s what you need to know. I, like many of you, do not know when my time will come. I will not be proposing to anyone because like many women I believe chivalry is not dead, and that there is something special about your father giving his blessing, or a man on bended knee. These are moments I would like to personally experience (and without me knowing in advance).

So when my time finally comes, trust me, you’ll know. And if you don’t know, then you’re likely not invited to the wedding — or you’re probably not following me on Instagram because that’s how Millennials announce everything these days.


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